Shame hides. It’s as if it is ashamed of itself. Often we have lived with shame for so long, we are unaware that it is there, driving our beliefs, actions, and emotions.

Shame maintains itself. When we feel ashamed, we are less likely to try to repair the damage, reconnect with the hurt party, or learn from the experience. And when we fail to make amends, the negative experience is added to the evidence that supports the underlying belief that we are defective in the first place. A shame cycle begins, in which we repeat destructive behaviours because we don’t believe that we have the ability to change.

Monkey therapy combines Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Internal Family Systems, as well as neuroprocessing interventions that address all aspects of the shame cycle: cognitions, behaviour, emotional reactions, and hidden sources. Interventions are collaboratively created to address your unique needs.

How Monkey therapy helps you beat shame:

Uncover negative beliefs. Chronic shame usually originates in childhood. As we get older, it distorts our perceptions and misleads us. Discover and understand underlying, sometimes hidden, negative self-beliefs that are causing you to feel ashamed.

Change negative beliefs and thinking patterns. Once they are uncovered, Monkey therapy helps you to update negative self-beliefs and thinking habits with healthier, more realistic alternatives.

Learn to sooth overactive shame. Shame is a protective emotion, motivated by fear of rejection. When we recognise its protective intent, we are more able to meet it with compassion, defusing its intensity. Monkey therapy teaches you how to calm intense emotions, deepening your self-awareness and emotional resilience.

Change self-defeating behaviours. Recognise the destructive behaviour patterns that have developed as a result of your negative beliefs. For example, having a habit of pushing away others to avoid feeling vulnerable. This process teaches you how to break these habits and create experiences that strengthen your sense of self-worth.

Become better at dealing with shame feelings. Learn how to separate culpability from self-condemnation. As a result, you can deal with life and relationship challenges in healthier, more productive ways.

Monkey therapy also helps you accept that past trauma or abuse was not your fault, finally releasing long-held self-blame and changing the negative impact that it has on your life.

Gain a sense of agency and control in your life. Often with cases of chronic shame, we feel as if we can’t help who we are or our reactions. We may feel anxious, defensive, hopeless, or we may overreact and not know why. Gain the ability to consciously decide how you want to respond to your feelings instead of being swept away by them.

Build resilience. It is easy to fall back into the habit of self-shaming. Monkey therapy fosters your newfound sense of agency and self-worth, empowering you to bounce back from difficulties.

FIND OUT MORE: The Science Behind Guilt and Shame. Steps You Can Take Now to Defuse Your Inner Critic.